I need your porch! I'm working on a new creative project to be released this summer & I'd like to make you all a part of it!!! :D

If you or someone you know has a cute porch/deck/patio & would be willing to let me come take some pictures of it (if you live within an hour... if not, you can take some yourself to submit ;) ) please comment on my Facebook post. They can be small & quaint, big & beautiful, have no view or a view for miles. All that matters is that it represents a place of love & conversations that I can capture through my camera. I won't be capturing any people in these but they should give the feel of inviting this ♡

Don't forget you can nominate a friend's porch if you know of one!

Thanks for being a part of this project!  Keep your eye out for more fun stuff to come!

So I wrote a post today that's been on my heart for weeks now and I had planned to share it this evening but after sharing it with a friend and us discussing how important the subject is, as well as, it being quite different from how I normally share... we decided that I should somehow record it so it isn't misread and so those that listen to it can hear my heart.  Please keep an eye out for this to post soon.

When I first found and then read this gift, I couldn't imagine how anyone could discard of it.  I still can't truthfully lol.  But this gets me thinking.  We've all probably done this.  We've all probably thrown away the love or an act of love another has given or tried to give us.  I know I'm guilty of being too busy to stop and receive a peck from Andy sometimes & spent many years in self-destructive behaviors that I'd actually get very upset (when drinking) if friends, male or female, began to profess that they cared deeply about me… it touched too vulnerable of a place that I couldn't let hurt again.  And we see this all the time in our society today where parents spend more time with their electronics, many don't send thank you cards anymore, where people take what they can and then be done with you, etc.  Some we are guilty of, some we experience.   And the worst of all, is not receiving the good life God died to give you. 

I encourage you to slow down this weekend.  Reflect on what love gifts you're not receiving.  Which are you discarding?  And so on.  May you accept the fullness of God's love expressed to you today!!
​

The first suicidal/self-harm thoughts I can remember having was at the tender age of eight.  I see other eight year olds now and my heart breaks for the child inside me that knew such pain that she could wish for this at an age where innocence, childlike play, creativity and imagination are to be soaring.  You can see in my pictures at this age that this oppression had set in, so much so that one of my grandmother's would state how she hated that picture.  It didn't represent the Alicia she had known.  She never hung that one up either.

Over the years, I learned of other people's opinions of those who self-hate and learned to disguise this quite well or found ways to do so in which others would never know.  This wasn't an intentional thought, it just happened over time.  These thoughts came on with incredible force my last two years in high school but few would have ever known because I was the girl who walked down the hall every day smiling and saying hi to everyone.  I truly believed it was my calling to be a light in those halls.  I was also Vice President of Student Council & Spanish Club while being heavily involved in many others.  I stayed super busy with a full social life, worked tons, kept my grades up, etc.  So that left very few people in on the truth of how tortured I was and I'm not even sure those living with me totally got it until I started drinking heavily after I turned 21.

So much unresolved pain left me aching for me... to be more, to do more... to be loved more.  I needed love so desperately.  I did things and put myself in sad situations because this ache consumed every inch of me.

​Fast forward, I'm now 35 and beginning to discover and rediscover parts of me that I truly like.  Did you know I'm creative!?!  Many around me would say yes, but I never thought so.  It was a part of my daily life as a kid but over time due to different things those "foolish" things got put aside.  I had to work hard financially, as well as academically, during my school years (I started babysitting at age 8) and due to other influences, I never took those sorts of classes because I didn't think there was time for that.  So heartbreaking now.

So five years ago (maybe more?), God started talking to me about my creative side, to embrace it, it's who He created me to be, etc.  I again, didn't have much time for that as I was fighting for answers with my health at that time but then 4 years ago this month, I left the house for the first time in ages without Andy, still recovering from surgery and battling the struggles I was now having on a daily basis from that surgery and wow, am I so glad I went.  At the very end of the conference there was a prophetic and healing word spoken over me and one main part of that was about me being creative.  Say whaaat!?!!  God even made it obvious by giving me the initials A.R.T. lol.  I thought I was a fast learner but because I had built this shell towards the foolish (not foolish at all actually) things of life (also spoken to me in this prophetic word) in order to survive I couldn't see how much He had placed in me that He desired me to express... and I have to be honest, I still struggle to allow these parts of me out publicly.  Creating is a vulnerable thing to share it seems.

Okay, back to present day, I've been learning to like myself for some time now and I've always heard Joyce Meyer say the childhood that she lost or was stolen has been restored back to her.  She has the joy of the Lord and has enjoyed so much in life, that it is to her, like the Lord gave her a two-fold (or more!?) blessing of that childhood lost.  I always found this to give me hope and now I can say I am experiencing some of this myself.  I've been lost in writing, designing, fashion, website building, logo making, speaking, putting down lyrics and poetry, expressive arts and crafts plus more in the last couple of years.  As we purchased this house and I turned 35, God made it clear He would be doing more with me artistically and it has been so fun!  I've begun doing photography and He is speaking through my paintbrush as well.  I am loving this side of me that had been lost and discarded for so long,  I feel like I'm finally finding my place in the world.  It's giving me quite a sense of purpose and it's been wonderful to have something, that with my physical limitations, I can actually do... well not just one thing but many... which is so important to me.  I'm gaining confidence, I'm learning, I'm getting "it" all out...all the stuff that there just aren't enough words to express.  I've found ways to show others what the world looks like through my eyes, and knowing I've always been different, I finally feel like I should be an active part of this world. It's beautiful.

Did or are you struggling to like yourself?  Have you fully accepted how God has made you and set you apart?  How have you fought this and/or how have you embraced this?  Are you creative as well and if so, how do you express that?  Tell me a little of your journey because I'd truly love to hear!

Once again it's been quite a while since I've blogged.  I begin to wonder if I'll ever become a regular blogger?  It seems, just as I get settled in, then another season of change happens and during those times I've learned I am my best self if I focus on very few but important things because my energy wanes.  Maybe this is because of chronic illness or maybe it's just the way I'm built?  Either way, I've learned to embrace it.

In the last 10 months we've left our church, moved out of town and bought our first home, lost our 16 year old Maine Coon who was our baby, experienced bats in the walls of our 104 year old home lol & much, much more.  Isn't life always full of something!?  It's one thing after another!  Since we know this, it's up to us to choose whether we embrace the changes or fight them, see life as an adventure or a nightmare & so on.

This reminds me of a funny story one of my best friends and her daughter experienced.  Her little girl was playing on a playground when she ended up getting a bunch of stickers stuck to her.  Being young and so sweetly innocent, she told me later that she wondered through her screams and tears why her mom would let these "bugs" just bite her.  While that may make us giggle now because we know they weren't bugs at all but stickers, it made me think of how we sometimes question our own Father when we're getting bitten or stung by those in the world or situations of the world.  Life can be so hard sometimes but I believe, just like this little girl's mother, our Father knows we're going to be ok because He sees more than we do, He knows more than we do.  

Thankfully, we serve the same gracious God as Job and Joseph and both of them were brought to victory in the end!  Set your eyes upon Jesus, trust your Heavenly Father to care for you better than any earthly father ever could and pursue the things in which the Holy Spirit leads you.  Our Godhead 3-in-1 has you and He is a God of miracles!  Expect your SUDDENLY miracle because God is in the business (for a lack of a much better word) of SUDDENLY!

"You can make it, but it's easier if you don't have to do it alone." ~Betty Ford

I've walked many a paths all by myself and others I've had a cheerleader or two with me... more often than not, Betty was right, it's easier, to walk most any path, if we don't do it alone.  Are there seasons in which God calls us to walk alone, to trust Him and Him alone?  Sure!  He is our Friend and our Counselor.  However, He does also tell us that "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed." - Prov. 15:22

If you're going through something today all alone, first and foremost trust and seek God... then as He leads, wisely seek out your friends... the ones that truly have your back in prayer, support, etc.  A favorite quote of mine since high school has been "A true friend overlooks your failures and tolerates your success" by Doug Larson.  I change this up a bit to say 'celebrates your successes' and one who truly loves you will give you grace in your failures but they will also instruct you in love where you've gone or are going wrong.  (See John 8:32 & Hosea 4:6)
​

A few times in a lifetime we have a friend that knows all about us and stays with us through it all.  We are to cherish those when they come.  There are also friends that are there to keep us accountable whether with our health, finances or business goals.  In this day and age, some of our friends we found through the virtual world or maybe we met them in person but the relationship has deepened through social media because you found another that thinks like you, believes like you or dreams like you, etc.

Whomever your friends are... and you know who the "reals" are (that's what I call my gang, tribe, peeps... whatever :D)... let them know how much you appreciate them.  Next, grab their arm and do life together.  Don't go it alone!

You know that feeling when you receive a random "just because" card that makes you smile the rest of the day? Or the feeling of overflow when you receive a message of encouragement? I experienced that times three on Monday. Good things do happen on Mondays... who knew!? ;D

----------------------------------------------------
​

Several months back, on a Sunday morning, I had multiple gals come up to me and tell me they had been thinking of me the last week but never reached out (their words) and proceeded to ask how I was.  I was having a very difficult time privately and it had been a tough, tough week.  Outside of the promptings of God, those gals would have never known this and without really leaning into Him they didn’t recognize it.

There’s no hard feelings there (I’ve been guilty of this too) so please know that when I say… Do you know how much it would have blessed me if just one of them had reached out!?  The thing is, they didn’t realize God was trying to use them... but He was.  We’ve all been guilty of this haven’t we?  We just thought it was a passing thought and then later on found out that "oh man, we should’ve reached out when that person was on our heart."  ​

So I’m encouraging you today to first stop, slow down, recognize that those promptings of the heart, more often than not, are God’s way of saying “I want to use you to love on somebody today.”

• When you’re too tired to call… write out a quick card.  Uh, yes, I just said that.  LOL  I still believe in and love snail mail.  Who doesn’t enjoy getting a handwritten letter or card from someone who cares!?

• Can’t talk but want to let someone know they were on your mind… post something to their Facebook wall or send them a Pin.  One of my dearest friends it so good at this that even though we haven’t seen each other for a year, I still feel close to her.

• And sometimes, there’s no way around it… you’re going to have to stop everything and just call, go see them, etc.  When God is trying to use you, don’t be too busy for Him.  You’d want others to be obedient to His ‘call to love’ if it were you were on the receiving end.

            ~~ Make an intention to slow down the next time someone is on your heart and then reach out and love them! ~~

I decided to do what I could from where I was no matter how I felt (physically, emotionally, etc.) and I want you to realize you can do the same!   Many of you are battling something… in your health, marriages, finances, etc. but I want each of you to know that God can still use you regardless!  We just have to be willing to be used and sometimes that scary, sometimes it’s humbling but it’s always rewarding.  

I’ve fallen into the trap many times, believing I no longer had purpose or God couldn’t use me while I’m stuck at home and sick.  It’s been depressing and overwhelming at times when all my heart desires is to love on and help people.  Well, I’m here today to tell you that that junk is a lie from the pit of hell to keep us bound up and absorbed in our own hurts.  There is a healthy amount of self-care that should be going on when you are hurting and healing but this goes far beyond that and with it it brings fear, isolation and much more.  You know it when it arrives because you don’t have the umph to face your day, anxiety surrounds you and chaos fills your mind.  

So what can we do about it when it comes knocking!?  “Submit yourselves, then, to God.  Resist the devil and he will flee…” ~James 4:7 tells us.  We need to discover the truth of God about our situation through time in His Word.  We then need to act on those words in faith.  James 2:14-26 (NKJV)  Now I’m not talking about what Susie Q. oh-so-cute-homemaker would do, not what pastor Joe can do, not what Stiletto the business pro can do… I’m saying do what YOU can do.  Be led by His peace in this.

Some days the best I can do is make my hubby a healthy meal.  I can’t even shower, answer the phone, walk to the mailbox but I do what I CAN do and I rest in the fact that God STILL approves of me.  Other days, I can send a card, encourage a friend with a call or text, have my best-dressed-foot-forward when Andy walks through the door… ya know, house cleaned, meal ready, head to the gym with him, etc.  And on reeeally good days, days that I’ve often planned a week or two in advance for, I can show up to social events, family functions, etc. and be on my A-game ministering to and loving on everyone I come into contact with.  

The bottom line is this… some days we can, some days we can’t… and we are still LOVED!

Today I can and so… I am :D  Do what you can today.  All God desires is a willing and obedient heart.  If you feel like it, share with me, what you were able to do today with what you had <3

I’m going to leave you with this beautiful video from the end of our retreat where we got to do a live butterfly release!!!  There is a beautiful reading that leads up to it and then you get to see all the butterflies… enjoy!

 For info on Lori's next retreat in May please visit her website http://www.lorietchison.com/retreat.html 

As you can see, I kind of went dormant for the winter months.  In the past I would've apologized for this but I'm not going to do that today.  The shame and guilt would hinder me from giving you my all, so I'm letting it go, actually embracing the rest I needed and took, and moving forward.  Ahhh, that feels so much better!

Recently I created two video blogs about finding out what's under your hood, being restored & more so I'm going to leave those here for you to enjoy!

I also have another blog coming later this week so watch for that as well!  Until then, make it a great week!