At the end of October, I had the honor of being the opening night speaker at a beautiful retreat called “Discover Your Wings.” It was nestled in California's stunning, Tahoe National Forest, which enveloped all of us like a warm hug. The setting and every detail of this retreat were so refreshing. The air there, was so fresh and crisp it set the stage well, for the Holy Spirit to show up and have His way with us.
When a speaker shows up to give, and leaves with so much that they are overflowing, you know everything was done well. What I loved most about this experience were the women who attended. They gave as much as they received. No matter their own personal struggle and prayers, they opened their hearts up to receiving and giving, to those around them the entire weekend. There were so many spontaneous moves of the Spirit, prayers and words given, that it still ministers to me.
So why, all these months later, do I now share this with you? Well first, because once I got home, after several large travels in a month and then going right into the holiday season, a wedding (again out of state) and some other life challenges, I honestly have not had the gumption to do much other than rest. That’s what winter is for right… hibernating!? In Nebraska it is!! So that’s what I did and I learned a lot. I learned whenever I travel, certain things need to be done before, during and after to ensure my body is cared for. Planned rest, after, is an essential now. God has graced me with these opportunities and the ability to even do them, (although my labs say I shouldn’t be able to- a blog on that soon… facts and faith) so I need to be sure I'm stewarding all of this well.
Secondly, because I’ve “Discovered My Wings” in a new way recently. You may have noticed a couple of recent vlogs/video blogs I've put out there, totally unedited, no makeup on, etc. I did this, simply because I can. As a previous perfectionist, this is a HUGE victory!
I’ve fallen into the trap many times, believing I no longer had purpose or God couldn’t use me while I’m stuck at home and sick. It’s been depressing and overwhelming at times when all my heart desires is to love on and help people. Well, I’m here today to tell you that that junk is a lie from the pit of hell to keep us bound up and absorbed in our own hurts. There is a healthy amount of self-care that should be going on when you are hurting and healing but this goes far beyond that and with it it brings fear, isolation and much more. You know it when it arrives because you don’t have the umph to face your day, anxiety surrounds you and chaos fills your mind.
Some days the best I can do is make my hubby a healthy meal. I can’t even shower, answer the phone, walk to the mailbox but I do what I CAN do and I rest in the fact that God STILL approves of me. Other days, I can send a card, encourage a friend with a call or text, have my best-dressed-foot-forward when Andy walks through the door… ya know, house cleaned, meal ready, head to the gym with him, etc. And on reeeally good days, days that I’ve often planned a week or two in advance for, I can show up to social events, family functions, etc. and be on my A-game ministering to and loving on everyone I come into contact with.
The bottom line is this… some days we can, some days we can’t… and we are still LOVED!
Today I can and so… I am :D Do what you can today. All God desires is a willing and obedient heart. If you feel like it, share with me, what you were able to do today with what you had <3
I’m going to leave you with this beautiful video from the end of our retreat where we got to do a live butterfly release!!! There is a beautiful reading that leads up to it and then you get to see all the butterflies… enjoy!