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Are You A Pitcher Or A Keeper?

5/27/2015

For me a home is special when it includes a few items from past generations. In my kitchen you'll find a potato masher and grater that were my grandma Leola's and the salt and pepper stove set is similar to one my grandma Margaret still uses. The crocheted towel was handmade for me by my aunt Linda.

Does anyone else function better when everything is in it's place? I mean everything doesn't have to be clean... dusted, vacuumed, etc. but put away where things belong. Man, I do! God is a god of order so I must get it from Him ;D (and my mom and all 6 of my grandma’s who were all excellent house and home-keepers)

It feels like years since I've had a home. Several different circumstances outside of our control, in the first years of our marriage, caused us to move several times from a place that I loved. That we both loved. It was our first little home together and even though we rented it still felt like ours. Several moves later we moved to the place we just moved from. We enjoyed the duplex, our landlord was great to us, it was cozy and secluded and we enjoyed this season to ourselves. We did our best to make it “home” the 4 years that we were there but shortly after we moved in, I had a business that took off so I was rarely home and then... I got sick.

Fresh cut peonies my grandma Imojean and I cut together in the drizzling rain the other day. So many special memories have been made in her gardens!

I was bed-ridden, unable to drive, had to stop working, saw doctor after doctor after doctor, barely ate, etc. etc. etc. so as you can imagine there was no time or energy or umph to clean and organize. I had gone from a stickler about my house, to burned out on moving and now I was sick. Good grief, everything was just survivable. I've always said while watching Hoarders that I have a tendency towards it but I was quickly seeing how it could become a reality if I were left alone in this place. Thank God to friends, family and Andy that helped me a couple times over those years.

To put your mind at ease, I didn't become a hoarder but I did accumulate way too much stuff. Most of us do (unless maybe you are a bachelor) after living in one place for a while but getting sick made it worse. So when we made the move this winter, I got rid of everything! Ok, not everything, but it sure felt like I was getting pretty close. And it felt good! Real good. I successfully donated gobs and gobs and gobs (that means many, many trash bags full) of clothes, household goods, and food. Yes I even gave our food away. And sadly I filled trash cans full of what nots (mostly papers I hadn't sorted through when I was lacking energy... paper annoyingly piles up FAST!)

But the best part of this is that we are making a home here in our little "Limestone Love" (just something I like to call this little limestone house we downsized to). First room 99% finished was our kitchen (99% cuz hanging stuff on the walls is the last piece to the puzzle when we move). It feels fabulous to walk into it every morning and night. It welcomes me being so fresh and clean. It’s a great space to start and end my/our day!

I downsized the kitchen by two-thirds including our dishwasher, microwave and it came with a small fridge, so we downsized from our large one also. There is no room for all the little gadgets I had so I donated or sold them too. I was worried this would be challenging but it’s actually been liberating! Less to use is less to clean.

Can’t wait for more pieces of this house puzzle to come together to share with you via blog and an open door!

Tell me, do you function better with everything put away?
Do you enjoy getting rid of stuff (a "pitcher") or are you more of a “keeper” like myself?

(If you don’t know me personally, those who do would tell you that I see potential in EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE in life so it’s really no surprise :D)

What are some ways you keep your home functioning with ease and/or make it easier to pitch things?

I of course kept my PINK KitchenAid mixer that Andy bought me!

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I Am The Frito Bandito

5/9/2015

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“Aye yai yai yai… I am the frito bandito…”

......Most would never know it, but these lyrics and her special dance that always matched this little tune, quickly enter my vision as I think of the highlight reel for my mom. Yes my mom. The reserved, sweet, quiet lady we all call ‘Jenise’ could put on quite a little show with this one. (if I end up dead after this post… you’ll all know why) She’d have us giggling in 5 seconds flat. I loved that about her. No matter what was going on as a little girl, no matter how much my heart was breaking or chaos was ensuing on the inside, she brought a peace to my childhood.

As a teenager, she would try so hard to get me to understand how loved I was, how special I was, but I couldn't understand. I had a deep seated hatred for myself. A poison that continually flowed through my mind but was masked in perfectionism, performance & smiles. Lots of smiles. Very few knew this daily battle that ensued within me and I can now see how it took it’s toll on those who did.

At a very young age we became friends. This helped us both conquer our demons. Every little girl needs their mother like every mother needs their little girl. (or child) God graced us from the beginning to see Him at work in our lives. My mom rarely cried but one day as she sat on a step, alone & scared I reassured her at 5/6 years old that the man above would help us. All would be fine. My then, atheist mom, was surprised by this but by golly He did, He has, He will.

As a young adult she helped me in every way she could as I drifted from here to there and everywhere looking for love in all the wrong places. She worried, she cried, she prayed. At times she looked at me with disappoint and I didn't blame her for that, I just didn’t know how to get out from that pit of despair. But long story short, I survived my 20’s!! lol Praise God and thank you mom.

In August of my 28th year, on the side of the rockies outside of Denver, God made some things very clear. He ushered in a deep, deep healing to every part of me that was broken or had ever been broken. That day I came to know & see many in my life, but especially my mother, in a whole new light. He gave me a depth, to something He had put in me as a child that helped me survive so much, but this depth now enabled me to move forward, to pursue life and no longer just survive. It was a new beginning.

Less than a year later my mom, Andy and I pursued a business venture together and we both blossomed. She’s my little flower (yes she knows I call her that… it’s endearing if you know our whole story lol). I am so proud of who she was then and even more proud of who she has become today. She always stepped up to the plate for my sister and I and as she is getting older God is showering her with love and teaching her to care for herself as well. This brings me so much joy and I well up with pride for her.

She loves my husband as her own and he welcomes her into our life and home as if she were his. This is a rare and beautiful gift for which I am so grateful. She is the most incredible grandma and I hope to one day get to experience life with her and call her grandma to children of our own, but until then I’ll enjoy seeing her light up with pride as she loves on all my nieces & nephews. She is a wonderful woman, this lady that I call mom.

She’s got the softest hands and hair that I love to run my fingers through. It’s these little things we’ll all miss when our mothers are gone, so this Mother’s Day, celebrate that lady in your life. Love on her. She needs you. You need her. She gave it all for you. Return the gift and notice her. Really notice her. All she has done. All she still does. All she is & is yet becoming. Well up with pride because THAT is YOUR mother & no one else is like her!!! Happy Mother’s Day mom! I love you!

unknown

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I Am A Writer

5/4/2015

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Little did I know when I arose last Friday morning that by the end of that afternoon, I would never see myself the same again. And by the end of the next day, the world would glisten and speak to me like it never had before. I feel as though a Disney Princess arose from the ashes. Like the birds are singing my song, the flowers are dancing to the beat of my heart & the drops of rain that poured yesterday were the shedding of tears of years (& years & years) of me just not getting it.

Now I don’t mean, not getting it as in not being enough, not meeting up to the world or even God’s standards… as I have tried to do so many many times. I mean, I got another piece of who I am and Whose I am. Things I never saw about my childhood, my past, myself, the way my inner self strums my heartstrings to sing to the tune of everything that surrounds me. I came alive in a whole new way this weekend. Like beauty from ashes, corn after a good rain and a hot humid day. I came alive!

I discovered me. Parts that weren't even hiding. Pieces that I utilize every day but never noticed them. God gives and He takes away. He destined me to be at The Jumping Tandem Writer’s Retreat this weekend. I never even knew I was a writer my entire life until Friday afternoon while sitting in a room of 10 other women. An exercise that revealed so much about me, yet was the simplest thing I’d ever done (well almost). God is awesome like that. He speaks so clearly in simplicity.

I am a writer.
I have cherished hand-written letters back and forth with my grandparents for years now and have said that this will be one thing I will dearly miss when they are gone.
I still send old-fashioned cards to friends and family alike. To celebrate them, to grieve with them, to love them.
I've written stories, poems and lyrics to get me through the darkest of days since I was elementary.
I take notes and light up a book with revelations like a lightning bug.
I give of myself through love letters, speeches, funeral memorials and social media.
I am a writer.

For too many years to even count, many people have told me to share my stories, my life and my heart, with the world around me through written world. Through books. I love to communicate… that really means talk, so I’ve never thought much of writing. That is until God “tricked” me into writing a chapter in a soon-to-be-published book with 19 other incredible women sharing their overcoming, triumphant and powerful stories. Now it’s all I think about. And I’m scared. I mean I was scared. Until Friday afternoon… when I realized God really did know who He referred through a dear friend of mine, to be a writer in this shake ‘em up book. Before this, I was beginning to wonder if He mixed up name tags that day. I was beginning to wonder why I ever said YES. A big, without hesitation, I know this is God kind of YES. But. He. Knew. He knew all along. It’s time to share... My story. My life. My heart.

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Are You A Pitcher Or A Keeper?

I Am The Frito Bandito

﻿﻿I Am A Writer﻿

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